Whether you have seen this or not, whether you want to or not, you should read this review . . .
Image by david anderson : da-photography via Flickr
Cowboys and Aliens: ‘B’ Movie
Seriously, what a stupid, ‘B’ Movie type title, I am willing to bet there isn’t a single ounce of intelligence around the table that chose that title, they must have sat there in Scooby Doo t-shirts, drinking milkshakes and eating haribo’s! You can hardly imagine a room full of creative executives sipping triple mocha locha cowboychinos, chuffing Cohiba’s and snacking on brie and cranberry panini’s coming up with a name like that, they would have called it “The Western Invasion” or something like that, so we are not starting out well here!
James Bond in the Wild, Wild West?
Daniel Craig has rose to fame pretty quickly, and quite rightly so, he is a fantastic actor in my opinion, although I don’t think he nailed James Bond. But he has played James Bond, the most successful serial-sequeled films in history (IMO), so this should give him a decent CV, one that demands class films, oscar winning scripts etc.
So what does he do with this glowing CV, he lets his agent throw it into a breakfast meeting with some Scooby Doo fans! Really?
The Plot Unthickens
OK, so here it is, the plot, the story line that ended up with a ‘B’ Movie title.
A chap wakes up, not sure who he is, with a wound and wearing a shackle in the form of a digital/metal arm band, he beats up a couple of guys (letting us, the avid movie watchers, know he is a tough nut), then hits town (think Deadwood) where he gets patched up, proves he has a good heart by standing up to the town bully, before we are shown the wanted poster for $1,000, which must be a fair bit, as a Cowboy pays 50c for a whisky in the salon.
So then the baddie comes into town, Aliens start blowing things up, at which point our ex-Bond, Cowboyesque hero blows one an Alien ship with his now glowing and active armband.
The Aliens have snatched a few of the towns-people, so in the morning, the expected posse rides out, tracking the Aliens! (Obviously they have a Mexican Indian that can track stuff!). You can see how predictable this movie is getting!
Anyway, the Aliens turn out to be destroyers of planets and races (sound familiar?) because they need a precious metal that is abundant on our planet, we then see some American Indians snatch our band of Heroes, with the intent of killing them, yet somehow, they all team up to take on the nasty, bad men from space. Yawn!
This bit will really surprise you, the Aliens have a huge spaceship in a canyon, with most of it underground, (Bet you didn’t see that coming!). Our band of American Indians, Cowboys, Stage Coach robbers (I missed that bit, but obviously the story needed them!), young boy and a dog, attack the spaceship, free the towns-people and blow up the Spaceship as it tries to escape the canyon.
To Sum it Up All
Seriously, that is all that happens, it has a bad plot, a predictable story-line, and so many stereotypical characters, it feels like a pick-and-mix of all the films for the last 20 years!
I loved it! From start to finish, this film that I didn’t really want to watch, entertained me, made me worry about the woman that died (yes, of course she comes back to life!), get excited when they killed a few Aliens, and almost point and laugh at the Aliens when they tried to escape our little planet! Don’t mess with humans, we will seriously mess you up! Haven’t this marauding Aliens seen Predator or Aliens?
Watch this film, this will be a blu-ray on my shelf the week it hits the shelves! Loved it! out of 5 stars, this would get 4.89!
Oh and by the way, I own a Scooby Doo t-shirt, love milkshakes but not a fan of Haribo’s!
Kip's natural habitat is at the mac messing around with websites and graphics . . .
WordPress Support for blogs and websites