February 5, 2012

The Sailor and The Train Driver

When Your Actions Cause an Unequal And Opposite Reaction?

We all make mistakes in life, some of us more than others.

There are always consequences, sometimes for better and usually for worse.

We don’t all captain a cruise ship or support Rangers!

English: Costa Concordia Polski: Statek pasaże...

Image via Wikipedia

Let me elucidate.

The first one is easy. You make a little mistake when trying to salute a mate onshore and end up ploughing your cruise liner into a pile of rocks and losing the ship and many lives. You are lucky that you came so close to shore that people hadn’t got far to swim to save themselves.

As I said we all make mistakes.

The second one may stimulate an all out strike by the ASLEF union in Scotland. You are a train driver and you phone in sick one day. It happens right? What doesn’t usually happen is that you are then photographed at a Rangers European match in Germany the same day. Whoops!

So what are the consequences. The train driver has been demoted to a level below his skillset and with 18000 pounds less a year. This means that over the 20 years he has left in his job he will earn 360000 Pounds less than if he hadn’t been to watch Rangers.

Now for me there is nothing in this wide world that could convince me that going to watch Rangers place 11 players along the goalline in an away european tie is worth 360 grand of anyone’s money but the point is, does the punishment fit the “crime”?

That is where ASLEF comes in.

They have stated that their driver has an unblemished 21 year record of service and the punishment is much too great for making a mistake. (Unblemished or just never caught?)

The question for the captain of the cruise ship should be, did he make a simple mistake or was this negligence? He has been sailing for well over 20 years and has probably made plenty of mistakes. However the consequences of our mistakes differ according to our responsibilities right?

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Publication Today, Is It Unlike: ‘Helmut Newton’s Illustrated’?

Helmut Newton's Grave - Friedhof Schoeneberg III in Berlin

Newton's Grave image via Wikipedia

In 1987 Helmut Newton, the porno-chic photographer, embarked upon what he considered to be his ultimate folly. I’m unsure that June, his wife, would agree, but that’s not what this article is about.

No, Newton’s self-confessed folly was in creating his own magazine. He called it Helmut Newton’s illustrated. The first edition was themed: ‘Sex and Power’.

No longer printed, it was a business disaster!

He should have known better. He really should. For years he had hung out on the edges of magazine publication. He was a photographer under contract for Vogue Magazine. He worked for Jocelyn Stevens‘ ‘Queen‘. After this he was an in-demand freelance. He even had a heart attack working on an assignment for American Vogue, but that was later.

Ian Fleming probably had it right when he stated in an 1964 interview made for CBS that his villains were modelled on sadists and megalomaniacs, respectively dentists and newspaper publishers.

You see, to start a high quality magazine is the ultimate worship of one’s own ego.

There are exceptions. Many smaller publications were set up years ago, when desk top publishing became available, simply to meet local need.

Picture Post Cover ~ Printed as 'Fair Use' via Wikipedia

Image via Wikipedia

Where Hulton’s  ‘Picture Post‘ had been Britain’s eye on the world, much like ‘Time‘ was for years its equivalent in America, so ‘The Blackmore Vale Magazine, founded by Alan Chalcraft did much the same for parts of Somerset and North Dorset.

A jewel of a publication Chalcraft started it in his kitchen, and although long ago sold to Northcliffe Media, it’s still published today.

Three of the publications with which I’ve been associated have, like Newton’s illustrated, come and gone. The first died when it’s lost its founder and publisher, the noted Tai Chi Master Linda Chase Broda. She was a driving force who could take the vaguest ‘hippy’ and slap them into focus, so making them take action.

Then there was Ieka Van Stokkum, a Gauloises smoking member of the Chartered Institute of Journalists who taught me more about publishing than I can ever repay her for. Her publication withered as her health left her.

Joe Sinclair ambitiously produced a magazine aimed at human potential. His main failing was that he insisted in typesetting it himself. He should have stuck to writing.

Vanity Fair Cover 1916

Vanity Fair 1916 Image Via Wikipedia

Not all magazines are doomed, although everything has a life. Conde Naste‘s publication Vanity Fair was founded in 1913, (as Dress and Vanity Fair), but became a victim of the 1930s’ depression. In February 1983  it was revived under the editorship of Richard Locke, and currently it’s under the stewardship of the fourth editor since it was restored Graydon Carter.

Carter made a very curious statement recently in a film made to promote the Adobe Creative Suite. He said: ‘If I was starting a magazine today I wouldn’t even produce a printed edition.’

Go figure!

 

Stephen Bray writes in a stream of consciousness, but sometimes is a good read . . .

Relax: NASA Prediction Fiasco Fudges 2012 Doomsday!

“And they went up on the breadth of the earth,
and compassed the camp of the saints about,
and the beloved city:
and fire came down from God out of heaven, and devoured them.”

Revelation 20. verse 8.

Some say the ancient Mayan Calendar predicts that our world will end on December 21st, 2012 A.D. I don’t care about this and neither should you. Transposing the Maya Calendar with our Gregorian Calendar causes speculation and screwed up predictions.

Without wishing to offend Christians I’m also unconcerned that the Book of Revelation predicts that the earth will be destroyed by fire any day now.

The facts are that many pious Christians have attempted to predict when the world will end, or the second coming will occur, and have proven to be wrong.

Computer experts worried that the whole darn financial system would collapse in the year 2000 because computers wouldn’t be able count to beyond 1999 digital fingers. Computers used their toes!

The giant caldera under Yellowstone National Park has yet to explode plunging the earth into three years of solar night, in which we will freeze, or starve, or suffocate as clouds of microscopic glass-like shards invade our lungs.

No, even though the science of our day suggests that these were, or are, possibilities, after I touch my head in lieu of wood, I can now safely type all to date have failed to manifest.

But I confess to still being a teeny, weeny, bit perplexed.

Image of a solar storm NASA image via Wikipedia

2012, The Situation May Be Critical But Not Urgent?

According to astronomers, for the past four years sunspots have been moving out of remission. Sunspots occur on a regular eleven year cycle. It’s difficult to predict the intensity of the solar storms that accompany them. In 2012 they could be at their zenith.

On Friday September 2nd, 1859 just before dawn skies all over our planet erupted in brilliant red, green, and purple auroras so that newspapers could be read as easily as in daylight. Indeed, stunning auroras pulsated even at near tropical latitudes over Cuba, the Bahamas, Jamaica, El Salvador, and Hawaii. Telegraph systems went berserk. Spark discharges shocked telegraph operators and set the telegraph paper on fire. Even when telegraphers disconnected the batteries powering the lines, aurora-induced electric currents in the wires still allowed messages to be transmitted.

NASA is very clear. ‘Solar flares will not destroy our planet’, they state that in their most recent update. But, solar activity may: “temporarily alter the upper atmosphere creating disruptions with signal transmission from, say, a GPS satellite to Earth causing it to be off by many yards. Another phenomenon produced by the sun could be even more disruptive. Known as a coronal mass ejection (CME), these solar explosions propel bursts of particles and electromagnetic fluctuations into Earth’s atmosphere. Those fluctuations could induce electric fluctuations at ground level that could blow out transformers in power grids. The CME’s particles can also collide with crucial electronics onboard a satellite and disrupt its systems.”

The NASA report goes on to equate the impact of a solar storm as being similar to Hurricane Katrina, as if the Katrina was just small beer?

In June, 2010 Richard Fisher, the director of NASA’s Heliophysics division, said in an interview with The Daily Telegraph: “It will disrupt communication devices such as satellites and car navigation, air travel, the banking system, our computers, everything that is electronic. It will cause major problems for the world.

“Large areas will be without electricity power and to repair that damage will be hard as that takes time.

“Systems will just not work. The flares change the magnetic field on the earth in a way that is rapid and like a lightning bolt.”

The National Academy of Sciences warned two years ago that power grids, GPS navigation, air travel, financial services and emergency radio communications could all fail due to intense solar activity.

It claims a powerful solar storm could cause ‘twenty times more economic damage than Hurricane Katrina’. That storm devastated New Orleans in 2005 and left an estimated damage bill of more than $125bn (£85bn).

The figure is an estimate for the United States alone.

Mausumi Dikpati of the National Centre for Atmospheric Research (NCAR) said: “The next sunspot cycle will be 30% to 50% stronger than the previous one.” If correct, the years ahead could produce a burst of solar activity second only to the historic Solar Max of 1958, when a radio blackout cut the US off from the rest of the world. Voltages in electrical telegraph circuits exceeded 320 volts in Newfoundland. Intense red glow gave way to shimmering draperies of light. It was so intense over Europe that people wondered about fires or even the bomb!

What does this mean for us today? There are several possible scenarios.

Option one, the sun will this time be lazy with respect to cosmic flares, or perhaps shoot them in a different direction, as frequently happens.

This would be good, but even the most optimistic scientists don’t expect us to avoid the impact of solar storms for ever, so neither should you.

Option two, the sun will create the kinds of flare that occurred in 1958, or even 1859. Then the flares had little impact because electrical technology was more primitive, and not essential to the fabric of society. The result was that a few wire cables glowed with heat in a few places. No biggie then, but today much of the U.S. National grid could suffer shutting down water-pumps, mains electricity, sewage farms, petrol pumps, and telecommunications. Banking would, no doubt be affected, and since real money is a thing of the past in today’s digital economy, there will be lots of room for manipulation, the freezing of accounts, ATM timeouts, credit card failures, and the like that bankers can attribute to solar activity.

Prolonged solar flare activity must eventually impact the integrity of satellite communications.

Option three, a large flare will hit the hole detected by  NASA’s five THEMIS spacecraft in Earth’s magnetic field which is ten times larger than anything previously thought to exist. Solar wind can flow in through the opening to “load up” the magnetosphere more powerful geomagnetic storms.

Should fires break out, they will be difficult to fight because many water supplies rely on electric pumps. If areas of forest are destroyed carbon di oxide creation would occur on a huge scale, and take years to be reabsorbed.

Some are even predicting a huge Tsunami capable of covering the entire American continent. These people are clearly neither scientists, nor Bible scholars.

It’s easy to pass off concerns about solar flares as unfounded and carry on business as usual. There’s evidence that the U.S. government, however, is planning if not for a solar flare meltdown, some other catastrophe.

Lots of people claim there’s an underground city under Denver International Airport that’s aims to be an Ark in the event of cosmic, or other, emergencies. Additional military bunkers with seven foot thick blast proof doors are a reality. They are designed to remain functional for months, if not years, for core personnel. These are new, or refurbished, installations, not relics from the cold-war.

It’s true there are wealthy people who have invested in the redundant ICBM sites, turning them into underground condos. I’m not kidding. These babies are designed to maintain their integrity if flooded for over three days, and to withstand extremes of temperature.

Tragedies occur for most families at some stage in their life cycle. Loved ones die. Wars, or natural disaster destroy property. We know this and accept it.

What we find less believable is that our secure world of networking, iPads, credit cards, transportation and hypermarkets could crumble leaving us penniless, and reliant upon street- smart, or back-woods, skills.

Were the second, and most likely scenario, to take place severe disruption will occur.

As to the date? We cannot be sure. In a series of papers dating from the early part of the century NASA has been pushing the date of an impending solar based emergency backwards. A few years ago 2012 was thought the strongest possibility. Today the prediction is for May, 2014.

According to NASA today it will be a walk in the park. How different from what was being said 18 months ago!

Do I think 2012 is still a possibility? Sure I do!

In the film ‘Trading Places’ Dan Ackroyd plays Louis Winthorpe III a successful businessman who is deprived of his wealth by the two brothers who employ him. His credit cards no longer work, his bank account is frozen. In this film everything works out in the end, but not before Winthorpe spends time homeless living on the street.

In Dr. Zhivago Alexander Gromeko is a well to do man with an aristocratic background. In the film he was played by Sir Ralph Richardson. As the Russian revolution gets under way we see his fortune change from one in which he lived in elegance, warmth and security to having to share his house with workers who burn anything combustible for heat. Later when he travels into the Urals, it is in a crowded cattle truck, rather than a first class carriage.

Such scenes are, of course, works of fiction, but they also point to how life may be, for many, should our planet be hit in the wrong place today by a large solar flare.

Of course I could be wrong? ;)

Stephen Bray writes in a stream of consciousness, but sometimes is a good read . . .

Christmas Come Full Circle

It’s a decidedly non-technical post from me today!  In keeping with the season I thought I’d post about my first Grown Up Christmas – but not my first Christmas as a grown up.  Let me explain!

Christmas gifts.

Image via Wikipedia

For me, Christmas is all about the kids.  My eldest will be fourteen in July so it’s been a long old while since I’ve been on the celebration side of the day.  I remember my parents making the fuss for the kids and then quietly exchanging gifts out of the way of us youngsters.  They’d lock themselves in the kitchen until they’d created a banquet for us.  There was so much behind-the-scenes work that went on.

The past few months have been emotionally draining for various reasons and truth be told the run up to Christmas hasn’t really been all that festive this year.  I don’t know if that’s prevented me from noticing preparations elsewhere but try as I might I cannot shake the feeling that the holiday had somehow crept up on us.  I have a few scattered memories of discussing Christmas with people over the past couple of months but I’ve felt nowhere near as involved as I used to.

Then, over a Christmas Afternoon conversation / present swap that all changed.

We were at the In-Laws and the kids had just opened their gifts.  My fiancée had just opened the dinner set she’d asked for when I was handed a package of my own.  Normally presents from the In-Laws are for our Scouts activities.  They’re both in Scouting so they know what makes a good present.  However this year they sent a real curve-ball.  It was a pruning saw!

It fell very neatly in to the Present-You-Don’t-Know-You-Want-Until-You-Get-It category.  A couple of months ago I’d seen Father- In-Law using it to prepare a branch for use as a hiking stick.  Prior to that I hadn’t even known they existed.  It felt like a rite of passage.  I’m thirty six years old and grown up enough to use tools!

Every year I have the feeling that I’m a big kid at Christmas and I suspect that’s what was missing this year.  Getting that saw for a present this year made me feel accepted into this new family and put me back in the position of having people making sure that I’d have a great time.  I felt like a big kid at Christmas!

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There’ll be no *!!*&@!! Christmas this year!

Christmas will never be the same for a Cardiff based family who way back in the late 1960s were visited by a voluptuous social-work student.

A young mother who had been labelled as ‘inadequate’ and diagnosed as suffering with chronic depression was referred to The Family Institute in Cardiff for brief psychotherapy.

Treatment with drugs, electro-shock therapy, and analytical therapy had made no impact, and so in a desperate attempt to do something different Strategic Therapy was suggested.

Milton H. Erickson M.D.

Milton H. Erickson M.D. image via Wikimedia

Strategic Therapy originated in the USA. It is the name given to a type of intervention refined by the late Dr. Milton H. Erickson of Phoenix Arizona.

His biography could have been penned by a Hollywood script writer. The son of Norwegian immigrants who had traversed the Great Plains in a covered wagon Erickson spent the first years of his life living in a cave house with a dirt floor near some mine workings. The settlement, and the town of Aurum, Nevada, disappeared long ago.

In his late teens he suffered a severe bout of polio that left him paralysed for months. Slowly, using a series self-prescribed of mental exercises involving great will power, and as he began to move physical pain, he recovered the use of his limbs.

To celebrate this he took a canoe up the Mississippi river, where he lived eating scraps of vegetables, such as potato peelings cast overboard from the paddle wheel steamers that plied the river.

Unable to undertake the hard manual labour required of a farmer young Erickson majored in medicine and psychology at Colorado University General Hospital . Naturally he became a psychiatrist, and is well known as the father of indirect hypnosis.

It’s not hypnosis that concerns family therapists. Erickson’s ‘Strategic Therapy’ was for a decade a mainstay of family therapy practice.

Often criticised for being manipulative, and unethical, Strategic Therapy is defined by veteran family therapist Jay Haley as any type of therapy where the therapist initiates what happens during therapy and designs a particular approach for each problem.

The Cardiff based Family Institute was one of the first places to adopt Strategic Therapy in the United Kingdom.

When the young social work student was sent there as a training placement her supervisor, Brian Cade, sent her to the home of the family with the depressed matriarch.

Her affect pervaded everywhere. The children were grubby and unhappy, the home was untidy, the woman constantly complained about her life. It all seemed a hopeless mess.

‘And as for Christmas, you can forget *!!*&@!! Christmas’, she said,’ there’ll be no *!!*&@!! Christmas in this household!’

The young social worker was urged to dress provocatively. To make eye contact constantly with the father during her next visit during the week preceding Christmas Eve, and to express the following concerns and prescription to the family.

“You are clearly in a terrible state of health. Don’t even think of getting up before three in the afternoon. Why not stay in bed all day? Cooking and housework could be done by the rest of the family, who were more potent.  You’ve made brave efforts to be a good wife and mother, but it’s just beyond you. You really mustn’t even think of attempting to tax yourself over the festive season. Of course the rest of the family, unfortunately, will have to forego Christmas thist year. But it would be a travesty to attempt to be happy and celebrate given how ‘low’ and incapable you have become.

“Your family must let you rest throughout Christmas Day. They are not to bother to wake you, or disturb you in any way. You are simply to stay in bed and do your best to get through Christmas Day as best you can.”

The next day the woman was up by eight a.m. making breakfast. She tidied the house from top to bottom and put up some decorations. She took the children down to the shops to buy toys, and more decorations, bought foodstuffs and prepared the home for Christmas.

When the family was visited in the new year the woman declared that they no longer required ‘therapy’, and the family reported that they had enjoyed the best Christmas ever.

Stephen Bray writes in a stream of consciousness, but sometimes is a good read . . .

Getting it Wrong

Nothing business-like from me today, just an insight into the real me.

I Blame The Parents…

Anyone that knows me well, rolls their eyes at least once a day, it is a standing joke at how useless I really am, the normal day to day tasks that most people do on auto pilot, I get completely wrong. Yet I have sisters that are the complete opposite, so it is clearly my parents fault, they had no idea how to raise a boy!

Egg mayo on a large brown baguette

Image by Simon Owen Design via Flickr

For Instance:

I really fancied a egg mayo sandwich the other week, it took me 8 eggs to get it right!

I tried to make a Philippino stew the other week, and didn’t add any potatoes, veg or anything, just chicken. It was terrible. I really shouldn’t cook.

I had some damp plimsoles the other week, popped them on the toaster, thinking they would dry out a bit, they are now burnt. And they cost £90 ffs!

Wanted a bottle of Smirnoff Blue on Friday, bought blueberry flavoured Smirnoff (in my defense, the bottles look the same), which was horrid with RedBull.

Last Christmas a girl I was seeing unwrapped a Wallet and Keyring set (that was part of my sons Christmas box), he unwrapped a necklace!

A girl was on about coming to my new house at weekends, I said no, she can’t, I don’t want my daughter seeing disposable relationships (for the record blokes, you should never say this to a woman!), suffice to say, this did not go down well at all.

I stood at Larnaca airport one day arguing with the checkin staff that I booked the ticket myself, I know I am flying today, cost me €150 as I had booked the return for the next month.

Flew back from Pathos once, as it was €100 cheaper than Larnaca, cost me €100 in a taxi to get there.

Christmas in the Philippines one year, lost concept of time, went food shopping, all the shops were shut, we ended up having two roast potatoes and a lamb chop for Xmas dinner.

Whenever I try to cook something on my own, I am normally at my friends restaurant within the hour.

Common Sense

I have an IQ of 146, I am a true 2%’er, yet I don’t even know the recipe for icecubes. Common sense is extremely rare, why the hell is it called common?

;-)

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Chris "Kip" Carrier

Kip's natural habitat is at the mac messing around with websites and graphics . . .

[Fashion] It Can Be Given Free For Poor People?

Like any proud father from time to time I take a look through my eight year old daughter’s school exercise books. Today I found this image with the text below. What’s this I asked? It’s an advertisement for fashion she told me:

Image of garments by 8 year old Amazon Bray

‘This is a girls’ dress for cold days.  It comes with its scarf and hat.  You would feel so sweet outside!  Its price is very reasonable.  It can be given free for poor people.  The material is not made of damaging material.  It can be worn in the rain too as it is water proof.

For boys there is a cotton top, trousers, scarf and hat.  Its price is very reasonable.  It is water proof.  It is easy to remove the stains.  It is attractive for both kids and adults.  It is very difficult to tear.  The hat is woollen and warms you up. 

The children in the picture bought these; you can see how happy they are.’

As someone who sometimes has been called upon to write advertisements for others I think this a pretty good first attempt, and lots better than many adults achieve.

It’s true that there’s no call to action, and also that she’s stressed features rather than benefits, but the final line is pure genius :)

Stephen Bray writes in a stream of consciousness, but sometimes is a good read . . .

Nature, Nurture? No Excuse!

I was chatting to a friend recently, suggesting she didn’t seem to get upset by much (too wise and too mature); she suggested it was part of her West Country Heritage. Interesting point – but by the same token, I’ve heard people with red hair claim that their bad temper wasn’t anything they could control… “It’s in my gene’s; I’m a redhead”.

Film poster for Blonde and Blonder

Image via Wikipedia

That struck me as no more sensible than the idea that blondes are dim.

And that in turn raised for me the old, old question of “nature vs nurture”. Now, I should add that with a PhD from a department of Geography and over 24 years research in universities, I’m pretty much committed to the idea that there’s an effect of space, but that doesn’t in itself exclude either of the options.

Now, I’m not saying there’s not a genetic issue here – you only have to look at the physical variation of humanity on a global scale to see how much people can vary physically and I’m sure there’s the possibility of psychological variations as well…

But what I am saying, is that there are two other things to consider as well.

Firstly, it’s very difficult to differentiate genetic character tendencies from culturally orientated character tendencies. (Don’t forget, we’re only taking tendencies here anyway!) Secondly, and for me more important at the moment is that people can often use a ‘condition’ or a ‘diagnosis’ as an excuse for not fighting the problem…

“My dad was a bully, so I’m bound to be.”

“All the women in our family are gobby.”

Sigh. Even if that’s true, it’s no excuse for not at least trying to not be a bully, not be gobby, not be whatever.

Medical diagnosis seem to be used the same way: “I’ve got social anxiety disorder”, meaning that the person involved didn’t feel the need to engage in the usual social order and had the ideal get-out to play. After all, we can’t make them be nice to people because they’re being rude, they’re just ill.

Maybe.

But to be honest, if you look at the definitions of many such ‘disorders’ they’re just labels to describe the symptoms… That’s a diagnosis in one sense, sure, but it’s not the same as saying that someone is hot, shivery and miserable because they’ve got a bacterial infection. With a cold we know the cause and we know what to do to help the person fight it.

Saying “I’ve got XYZ syndrome” is about as helpful as my GP, to whom I’d taken my daughter with a rash around the mouth saying “Ah yes… she’s got peri-oral dermatitis”… in other words, a rash around the mouth!

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Simon Raybould is one of the country's most widely read and regarded providers of voice and presentation skills training.

You say Tian Tian and Yang Guang, we say Sunshine and Sweetie?

In this age when we are more correct in our pronunciations – think Nestlé, Majorca, and probably many others that my brain has dumped to make room for more necessary things – can we really not be trusted with the given names of two giant pandas visiting Scotland?

Giant Pandas eating bamboo in Chengdu, Sichuan

Image via Wikipedia

Since hearing on what must have been a quiet news Sunday, that locally these two wonderful creatures are to be known as “Sunshine” and “Sweetie” (really…?), I’ve been rather annoyed that the British cannot be trusted with their Chinese names – Tian Tian and Yang Guang. Are these even the best translations?

Do we really need to continue this dumbing down, when some of our “great” nation may have their perceptions of people swayed by “reality” shows such as TOWIE, Desperate Scousewives and Made in Chelsea? Could we perhaps appeal to those who shudder at the very idea of watching such nonsense and encourage a more intelligent and more likely to be useful approach to all things? What happened to the nation of scientists, of inventors, explorers, shopkeepers even? Is it that we’re too busy working and earning to cover our lack of pensions to effect any kind of influence on how our nation is encouraged to think, do, act?

I do wonder what this country might come to – perhaps a sign of approaching grumpy old dotage? One thing’s for sure, If I was a visiting panda, I’d turn around and go home again.

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For her sins, Babs is editor for Blokes on the Blog when not helping people use WordPress for their website and/or blog. She wishes she'd had this much male attention 20 years ago...

Was Clarkson’s Folly Once His Genius?

Image VIA WIKIPEDIA

Any foreign visitor reading the news in England today might wonder if Jeremy Clarkson is a trained journalist. There seem to be no end to his politically incorrect gaffs. One wonders if he is even employable in today’s troubled political climate?

Although he never studied journalism in college Clarkson trained as a journalist with the Rotherham Advertiser. He also wrote for two other local newspapers before in 1984 Clarkson formed the Motoring Press Agency (MPA), which conducted road tests syndicating them to local newspapers and automotive magazines. This led to him being recruited by the BBC’s Top Gear in 1993.

Clarkson’s stance about most things is often contemptuously out of step with National policy. He frequently makes reactionary and politically incorrect statements espousing all our rights to free speech. This has made him lots of friends and more than a few enemies.

The problem for Clarkson today, however, is although there may have been a place for someone to laude common prejudices in the days when the Blair administration reduced critical thinking and common sense to politically correct ‘sound-bite pap’ we no longer live in those times.

Clarkson too is showing his years. Once a cheeky schoolboy, who got to drive Astons and Lamborghinis for our entertainment, today he is simply a blubbery fat git in jeans. Levi Straus hate him since the term ‘The Clarkson Effect’ was coined for men of a certain age wearing young mens’ denim.

He’s an unlikely Peter Pan, that’s his real problem. As an interviewer he always claimed to admire Alan Wicker, a veteran BBC reporter who toured the world asking impertinent questions of people with English charm. Wicker’s was an elder statesman’s charm, Clarkson is still attempting to be an outrageously naughty schoolboy and it doesn’t really work any more.

His most recent gaff was to state that people who commit suicide are selfish. Paul Farmer, chief executive of Mind, described the comments as “extraordinarily tasteless”, especially in the wake of the death of footballer Gary Speed. I’ve read the ‘Sun’ article in which he made the remark. Much of it is utterly sensible, indeed it may be interpreted as inferring that Clarkson’s sympathies are with the bereaved relatives of people who take their own lives. A little more care in his wording and it would have been an excellent article that may even have done some good? Indeed, even though controversial, it might still make a few think twice before contemplating such a step.

What it ignores, however, is that those drawn to the kinds of suicide that Clarkson is writing about do so when their minds are unbalanced either by dint of social pressures, or because a combination of drink and prescribed drugs, or even a reaction to such drugs has, to their mind, left them with no other choice. People who genuinely make attempts on their own lives later freely admit that although they knew what they were doing was wrong, and they felt sorry for their families and friends whom they were letting down they couldn’t stop their thoughts and actions.

There are those who simply make suicidal gestures, of course, which are more akin to cries for help. I’m not writing about such people.

So what is Clarkson to do now, as if I should know?

He should resign. Take himself off the map. Grow cucumbers in a  Gloucestershire greenhouse. Give up smoking. Take a cure. Lose weight. Rest, meditate, sit under a tree.

Then he should investigate some incredible leak that reveals just how corrupt the world really is under all the spin and gloss that is peddled to us in the name of political correctness, and in the manner of a reformed, and now elder statesman like, character sock the establishment right behind the eyes and where it hurts.

Stephen Bray writes in a stream of consciousness, but sometimes is a good read . . .
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