Well, no. I’m exaggerating, you’ll be relieved to hear. Our children are not wine connoisseurs. In fact, our daughter, now 10, doesn’t like the taste of any alcohol. Our 13 year old son does, and is occasionally granted a little taste of what we’re having.
There are those who don’t think that’s right. Perhaps you’re one of them. But for us, it’s part of the way we ‘parent’. We avoid patronising our kids. We’re ‘up front’ with them whenever we can be, and generally make them party to whatever conversation is going down. I’m sure that’s why they seem at ease when conversing with adults.
As far a swearing’s concerned, I’ve never moderated my language in front of them. They’ve grown up hearing all the worst words on a regular basis, and it’s no big deal for them. Not even a little one. They use swearwords on occasion, and the context is almost always humorous.
Although I’ve never heard the kids swearing outside the family circle, I am fairly sure they make their due contribution to crude playground badinage at school or in other social contexts. But with such a foul-mouthed father, bad language is never going to shock them.
You’re probably too young to remember it, but there was a time in the 1970s when the ‘violence in movies’ debate raged. Many worried people were sure that kids would copy what they saw on the screen and soon the streets would soon be flowing with the blood of the freshly slaughtered. But it didn’t happen. Why? Because kids were not given credit for their often infallible understanding of context.
Put simply: kids are much smarter than we think they are. Otherwise I’d be one of the first to be shouting for removal of Shakespeare from the school curriculum. (“Get f***ing Shakespeare off the school curriculum!” I’d be roaring, just before hurling a rock through a ministry of Education window). But lucky I’m not a violent type.
Look, we’re not perfect parents. ‘They fuck you up, your Mum and Dad’, said Philip Larkin, and I hear those words in my ears all the time. No matter what we do as parents, we will never be perfect. But there’s also such thing as proof of pudding. And when I look at our two, I can’t help thinking: “FFS, we must be doing something right!”



















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